how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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