There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
