I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I understand Curling. That high.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
