I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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