they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
