Heybabeimwearingurpanties
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
