I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
