On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
