U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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