Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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