You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
