Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
this beer tastes like vomit already
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
She's the barista slut.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
