I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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