Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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