i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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