All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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