You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
