am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
