playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
