Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
