At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
