I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
