ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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