you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
dude. I can hear the air.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
