Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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