My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
