yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
