he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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