Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i dont even know how to be here
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
