he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize