I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
