idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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