Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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