but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
