just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
They took my balls.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
