So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
She's the barista slut.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize