I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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