did you get engaged???
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize
