He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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