so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
