you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
