So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
