I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
