She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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