The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
