Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
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