i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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