All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
