Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
