I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
