im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize
