Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
