I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize