do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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