I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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