I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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