By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
