What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
