Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
