i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
