It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
