yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
