im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
