i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Dick very happy bro
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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