dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
