playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
