so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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