Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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